How Much It Hurts
by Fear Die Rothaarige
Summary: But, for now, I wish you would hold me in your arms again and tell me how much you loved me.


**~How Much It Hurts~**

**By: no tears left to cry**

**_Based off true events._**

_It was all in the past. I mean nothing to him now. I am nothing but a memory._

It was all bittersweet, from the moment we first meet to the night that you broke my heart broke into a million little pecies when you threw me aside like I didn't matter anymore.

I remember how, at first, we were just friends. I told him all about the guy that I was crushing on in my freshman year at high school. You were already in college by the time we first meet. You wanted to be a writer and become someone in this world. I wanted love.

I always wanted someone to love me. I've been through a few boyfriends, and I was always the problem. They couldn't see me for me. They wanted me to become some little toy that they could use to amuse themselves.

_I didn't cry for any of them, when they said it was over. When it ended with you... I spent hours sheading tears._

I never knew how it happened. How we went from friends to something more.

We spent hours talking about anything and everything under the blue moon. You told me how music literaly saved your life. How you don't give a fuck about what people think of you, you were you, and thats one of the things I loved most about you.

_The next day, I didn't know how to handle living without you. I pretended everything was okay, when I was broken inside._

It was us against the world. Everyone said that it wouldn't last. That it was stupid to even try something like we were doing. But did we litsen to them? No. We carried on like nothing else mattered.

_It was spring break when my world came crashing down. I spent the whole week morning over you, and who knows how much longer._

When you first told me you loved me, I never felt happier. When you said those three little words to me for the first time, my heart started to soar and my breath started to come faster and faster.

And I said it back to you. Everyday I would tell you how much I loved you. And everyday you would say how much you needed me, how you loved me, for me.

_You said there was no reason for us not to be friends. How do you stay friends with the one you love, but they don't love you back?_

You loved music and so did I. We would quote lryics to one another. It felt like heaven to be with you, just relaxing, not worrying about my life. Just being yours made me want to believe in happly-ever-after.

_I was in the car, traveling to go see family only a few days after you broke my heart. I felt like closeing my eyes, pressing the gas peddle to the floor, and taking my hands off the stering wheel and letting my world end right then and there._

I was 14 when we first meet, you were 17. We didn't care about age. Age is just a number.

_I listened to the radio the whole car ride. And I found the station that played our favorite music. I heard your favorite band playing one of your favorite songs. It took everything I had to hold in the tears._

I thought you were the only one for me. I told you how I thought it was true love. You agreed with me. You told me that you would never let me go.

What happened to never letting go?

We had our fights, but what couple didn't? Mostly it was stupid stuff like how you stayed up so late. Or how you ate to much junk food. Just stupid stuff. Then there was the one big fight. The fight that ended it all.

_I tried to forget, even for alittle while the heart break. I played around. I joked. I tried to act like the normal me. But there would be the times, when the words that you said to me would come back and I would try not to cry infront of them._

I want to be with you. I begged and I pleaded, but in the end you acted like your stubborn self and wouldn't listen.

_My cusion was going to prom and I voluntered to go shopping to help find the perfect dress. I remembered how I pictured us dancing together under the soft lights oneday. Looking into each others eyes and seeing how in love we were. That was never going to happen now._

We never should have fallen in love. We were never meet to be, but we tried anyway. Its true when they say you don't chose who you fall in love with. If I could chose to fall in love with you all over again, or never have loved you at all... I would chose to love you again. Its better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved in the first place.

I know I have to move on. I know I have to look past this heart break and push forward in this life, no matter how much it hurts. I know we will never be what we once were, but I can't help but dream that we could become one again.

_But, for now, I wish you would hold me in your arms again and tell me how much you loved me._

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**_

**_This is based off a real life break with me and my ex. Sakura and Sasuke seemed perfect for this story. I didn't use their names because it seems better that way. I hope you like it._**

**_Please Read and Review!_**

**_Later!_**


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